i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
