I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I love having hate sex.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
