I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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