Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
