Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
