you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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