Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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