This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Randomize
