Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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