I think I died a long time ago.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize