Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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