Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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