Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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