So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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