We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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