I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
