Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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