How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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