I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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