Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
did i walk over a car last night?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
