Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
