Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
