i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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