i just google imaged poop.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We had sex on a dog bed..
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
