Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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