Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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