You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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