We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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