I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
