brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
