I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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