i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
