He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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