i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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