I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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