I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
