I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
