I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
