Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
