with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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