I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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