Well douche your snatch and let's go!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
