While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
