dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
