had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
