I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Randomize
