just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
