she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize