dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
