just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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