At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
