i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
