Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
