We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
