Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
