i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Im part way to drunk.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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