A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
handjob tips. give me some.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
