Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
