small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My breasts were aching with rage.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
