Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm always down for nudity.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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