I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
