protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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