So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
