I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize