Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
