She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Randomize
