Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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