Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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