She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
